This week Hannah has asked me, “At what times in your life were you the happiest, and why?” This question requires a little background information before I actually answer.
It was an eye opener for me when I discovered there is a difference between Happiness and Joy. As my relationship with Jesus Christ matured, I realized Joy is a fruit of that relationship. A person can find Joy even when they don’t feel Happy. Happiness depends on circumstances; Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit of Jesus sustaining a person even in tough times and circumstances. I am certain in the weeks to come I will have a chance to expand on Joy!
For the most part, the circumstances in my life have produced many seasons of happiness. There were times in my life when the circumstances weren’t what I had hoped, but every day I felt like God was giving me a chance to choose happiness. To be honest, there were days I didn’t make that choice and I choose self pity, anger, bitterness, just to mention a few negative emotions circumstances will produce. So it is very important for you to know Happiness is a choice.
One of the Happiest periods of my life was during the time I was getting to know your Grandmother “Sassy”, dating, being engaged and married. As I write this we are about to celebrate 43 years of marriage. Anyone who knows her knows Happiness. She lives to make others happy! It, however, is even more than knowing her! During those early years of our relationship, my happiness was the result of knowing someone really loved me and was ready to commit to a lifelong relationship. There is something very settling in your life when you feel loved and learn how to love and commit! There are a lot of people in your life who have made that commitment! Some you may not even remember as adult.
Probably the next great season of happiness was the early years of ministry at Lakewood UMC in Jacksonville. Part of the circumstances making me happy were being at a church excited to have a young couple serving together. There were lots of young single adults and recently married couples in the early stages of careers with whom we had so much in common. The staff with whom we worked, lead by our mentor and friend, Jack Taylor, had a unique love for each other. Every day felt like a new day! Being a part of a team that loves each other and loves to serve together is a great recipe for happiness. Another circumstance producing happiness for me, were the older adults, who were my parents age. There was an affirmation they gave I may not always have felt from my parents. Not to fault my parents at all, because parents have to be parents. It what was special feeling valued by people my parents age. Here’s a take away, don’t expect your parents to be your friends, but cherish and seek the wisdom of the people who are older than you! Don’t settle for grumpy old people, but seek out the fun loving adults around you!
The next event ranking high on the happiness scale was preceded by over 6 years of increasing sadness and struggle for Sandy and me. The light at the end of the tunnel was the adoption of your mother Hannah. During those years it was hard to choose happiness and quite frankly sometimes I choose hopelessness and levels of bitterness. During those years I really exercised and strengthen my happiness muscles. For the most part, I choose it over anger and bitterness and those years were a maturing process. There are a lot of details of this we will be sharing with you over the years and your mom will certainly have things to share.
It makes me happy to see your mother loving and nurturing you and while I am not sure at what stage you will be fully able to comprehend what I am writing, know YOU bring me happiness and I plan on being a part of your happy times.
It’s important for me to share the most important path to happiness. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness. No one else is. No one can take away your choice! You will have to make your choice every day of your life. Some days the choice will be easy, some days hard. Some days you will succeed, some days you will fail.
The best advice a I can give you about happiness comes from Jesus Christ!
Happy people
3 “Happy are people who are hopeless, because the kingdom of heaven is theirs.
4 “Happy are people who grieve, because they will be made glad.
5 “Happy are people who are humble, because they will inherit the earth.
6 “Happy are people who are hungry and thirsty for righteousness, because they will be fed until they are full.
7 “Happy are people who show mercy, because they will receive mercy.
8 “Happy are people who have pure hearts, because they will see God.
9 “Happy are people who make peace, because they will be called God’s children.
10 “Happy are people whose lives are harassed because they are righteous, because the kingdom of heaven is theirs.
11 “Happy are you when people insult you and harass you and speak all kinds of bad and false things about you, all because of me. 12Be full of joy and be glad, because you have a great reward in heaven. In the same way, people harassed the prophets who came before you.
Let me sum this up and make it simple. True happiness rises above your circumstances and comes when you live to make others happy. If you live only to make yourself happy, you will never know true happiness. Don’t wait for all the circumstances to be perfect. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Look around and find the people who need you to change their circumstances and bring them Happiness!
Love,
DadGee