Over the course of these notes, I have had the opportunity to share about many people who have had an influence in my life. I have shared about Pastors, Teachers, Sassy and our parents. As I pondered this question, I realized I have shared a lot more about my father, than I have about my mother. This is a great opportunity to share a little more about her.
Fortunately, my parents were positive influences in my life, though each was very different! It is not this simple, but dad was very analytical and made his decisions mostly with his mind while mom made her decisions based on her heart! It is, however, a good illustration of how each of them influenced my life.
Quite often I have said, “I got my sense of humor from my father, because he certainly didn’t have any!” While it was not entirely true, dad was pretty much no nonsense, while mom liked to kid, tease and make you laugh. She gave me the gift of laughter. She had a charm about herself, which I acquired, so much so, when I got in trouble, if I could get her to laugh it would reduce my punishment or maybe eliminate it altogether.
Her personality for most of her life would light a room. She gave me confidence in social situations and encouraged me to be outgoing, to care and reach out to all types of people. If I went to a party or a church activity, when I arrived home she would almost always ask, “Were there any new people there? Did you meet anyone new?” Sometimes I lied, because I knew if I didn’t reach out she would lecture me. Most people when they attend an event are drawn to the people with whom they have the most in common. It is pretty natural and we all do it. I am, however, grateful she pushed me to reach out to people who were not like me and to introduce myself to the new person in the group! This helped when I attended events where I didn’t know many people. I would often look for others who were hugging the wall or looked uncomfortable. I have met a lot of interesting people by doing this. Without her persistence in pushing me out of my comfort zone, I would have missed meeting a lot of people!
Mom loved music. When we were in a car with dad, the radio was rarely on and if it was, it was always low volume. With mom, you could count on music. She was the one who played the vinyl recordings on our living room stereo. She had a collection of Broadway musicals; some Sinatra and Glen Campbell recordings would be playing when I returned home from school. It was mom who supported my interest in guitar and singing. She took me to lessons. She convinced dad it was a valuable investment. She convinced our choir director to let me move up a grade because most of my good friends were a year ahead of me. (There’s another story which might be worth sharing!) She knew it would encourage me to sing.
When I was dealing with a relationship problem, she would often say, “Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face!” The first few times I heard her say it I didn’t understand. Over the years the importance of those words echoes loudly in my head. Basically, don’t cut your nose off and think you are getting even with someone else for the way they are treating you or you wished they would treat you! I learned in most cases I was my own worst enemy. It reminds me of a definition that says resentment is “like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Quite frankly, self-pity wasn’t allowed in our house. She was great at comforting me when I was truly wronged, but she was also great at helping me not to let it define me! She had a funny little song she would sing to me when I got in my self-pity mode, “Hard times, Hard times for the little fat boy!” Not especially good for my self-image, but it usually ended my pity party. On a side note, mom struggled with her weight for most of her adult life, so it was a term of endearment, and I knew it. In the end she didn’t want me to struggle with my weight or self-pity. You have to learn to cut your parents some slack!
Mom occasionally gave mixed messages. She was concerned I would follow the crowd and I would conform to the pressures of being popular. When I wanted to buy name brand clothes, she questioned my motivation. My first pair of real Levis jeans, she wanted to cut off the label on the pocket. The label meant something. I am pretty sure she knew, and really wasn’t going to remove it, but she made her point. Brand Name Labels don’t define you and you don’t have to conform to every fashion trend. On the other hand, when I began to dress outside of her norm, she was very concerned and would show her displeasure. It seemed it was alright to be a nonconformist when it aligned with her values, but not when it was different. It was quite paradoxical. I am grateful for her guidance and I learned not to judge people by their appearance, but it was a good thing to present yourself in a way which didn’t automatically alienate you! She helped me develop an attitude where outward appearances were important, but it really is who you are on the inside.
Most of the time, I was the greatest son a mother could ever have. If I did something wrong, I would be labeled the most unappreciative child ever. Probably not her finest moments. It did keep me on my toes and I learned the last impression you make on people will be the impression they remembered. Even to this day, I try hard to show people how much I appreciate them. My biggest regrets are with people who I did not leave with a gracious last impression. It is also hard for me to be with people who don’t show their appreciation for others!
Actually, I hesitate sharing this with you. So if this is your first reading just stop reading and come back to this part when you are reading this in your 20s. As I wrote earlier, her compassion for people was great! Over the years her great compassion began to overwhelm her. There were many factors, but in her late 50s, some of her outgoing personality traits began to lose their shine. Her expectations for herself and for others couldn’t always be met and she became more and more reclusive. It is important to share this, because I watched her go through this and I have struggled to not go down a similar path. Sadly, it is part of the aging process. I will be seventy in few weeks. I have outlived her by 8 years. I have been careful not to go down her path. It does have a pull on life. Knowing she struggled, has made me aware that I sometimes struggle as she did. I am a better person because I watched her struggle.
Know this, so many of the things I hope you love about me and remember about me are because of my mom! It feels good to say it!
There’s a saying which states, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!” I am pretty sure I have kept God laughing throughout my life. Quite often I have marveled at how wonderful my life has been in spite of all the ways I tried to work my plan, with very little regard for God’s.
At the core of my faith is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” NIV. This scripture has guided, comforted and given me hope when things are going as I planned and when not as planned! After encountering the Resurrected Jesus, Saul of Tarsus decided his plans needed to take a back seat to Jesus’. He had been a very purpose driven religious leader, but after his new birth in Jesus Christ he realized God’s plans for his life were not in his control. Paul writes, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV This is a bold statement of faith which says because of what Jesus did for humanity on the Cross even when circumstances don’t go as planned, we believe God is still working things out for the greater good. In order to see God’s plan, which is perfect, I have to loosen my grip on my plans and trust God is at work for the greater good.
When a person begins to walk by faith and trust God is at work in the world and in a person’s life, it impacts the way we plan. I come from a long line of planners and people who like to have control of their life. Somehow, even at a very young age I had I began to see some of my plans aligning with God’s and some not so much. At times it was frustrating, but over time I grew to have more trust and peace with God leading my life.
At an early age, I thought I would follow my father’s step into engineering. In High School I did well in Math and Physics and as I entered college, Math became my declared major. There was always this lingering thought I might be called into the ministry, so I minored in Religion and Education sort of as my backup plan. When I graduated, I wasn’t really sure of the direction I would go, but an opportunity to teach Basic and General Math in a school which had become a Ninth Grade Center. Though it was never a part of my plan, I was prepared, and I gained a lot of experience and confidence which would help me throughout my life.
After a year and half of teaching, I accepted an Assistant/Youth and Young Adult pastor position at First United Methodist Church, Haines City, Florida. During that year, I felt a pretty strong call to begin the process for being Ordained Minister in the United Methodist Church. Fortunately, I had all the educational requirements to enter Seminary and to pursue this path for my life.
For years, I always had small doubts about my gifts for the ministry. In many ways, I was more equipped for engineering. I like solving problems and building things. I like finishing projects. Unfortunately, the ministry rarely fulfills those needs. People are always a work in project. Even though you may prepare and preach a message, there was always this feeling I needed to spend more time and it wasn’t going to measure up. I often commented to people I thought God had got it wrong. Over the years, I discovered God got it right. Though I did struggle with the ambiguities of ministry versus math, I found a purpose in sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ I would never have found in just adding 2 + 2 and knowing the answer was 4.
After college, many of my friends were getting married. I dated several girls during and after college, but none of the relationships seemed to bloom. Quite frankly I wasn’t ready, and God had a plan for me to wait until Sassy and I were at a place and time to date, become engaged and get married. When it comes to relationships, it really takes a lot of faith and trust. Most of the people I had dated would have been great partners, but none would have led me to the path I think God fully intended. Even when I didn’t know it, God was leading me to the person who would influence so much of my life.
Throughout my life, there were doors which would open, but also doors which would close. Sometimes I was slow to walk through the open doors and was quick to try and knock down the closed doors. I am certain there were open doors I missed and closed doors I pried open and entered. What is amazing to me is God somehow found a way to keep me on a path which always brought me peace and joy. The process wasn’t always peaceful and joyful, but the end results were.
So many times, I tried to plan the course of my life and it would lead to a dead end. I would have to circle back and find my way again. The older I got, the more time there would be in between doors opening and closing. Over the years, patience became a greater part of my planning.
Isaiah 40:31 NASB 31 Yet those who [a]wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will [b]mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.
This is a great scripture which serves as a reminder we need to be on God’s time, not ours.
Now, don’t think having faith means just sitting and waiting for God to show His plan. Throughout my life I did a lot of preparation. I tried to be available to God! When I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I would pray and ask God to show me the direction. Actually, it was during those periods of darkness I learned what it really meant to walk by faith.
A time of great darkness and sorrow was the death of my mother. She had just turned 62. It had been several years since she had been in good health, but her health took a nosedive and ovarian cancer would lead to her death. It was the first death of someone for whom I had such love. This was not the life I had planned. She never lived to see me become a father. She didn’t get to see the birth of CrossRoad Church and share the joy of what God would do in this congregation.
For almost six years, Sassy and I struggled with infertility. It was not the life we planned. As I have shared earlier, our infertility would lead to the adoption of your mother. I have to believe the detour our lives took, led to a wonderful plan for your mother! If it weren’t for this detour, I wouldn’t be writing to you now!
In many ways, none of plans ever came to fruition. I never received a Grammy or became a famous musician. I didn’t make it to the PGA tour or ski on the World Cup tour. Quite honestly, I don’t think I would change much about my life. Here’s probably the most important thing to know. He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8 NIV
In just a few weeks I will turn 70. I have a lot of mileage, but I still think I have some fuel in the tank and some tread left on the tires. With each year, I have a greater appreciation for Paul’s words!
Rom 8:37-39 NASB But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
When it comes to raising children, I am slow to give advice. No one is an expert and each child requires different skills. To be honest, raising a child, being a father has been the most difficult and challenging task of my life. It was also the most important and fulfilling. I am a better person for being a father.
Most parents want to take the best of how they parented and minimize the not so good parenting skills of their parents. By and large, my overall feelings about how I was parented were positive. It was easy to forgive a few of my parents shortcomings, probably because, although I was a pretty good kid, I know I pushed the limits and was a bit stubborn! Most every one knows this about me!
Fortunately, I not only had good models as parents, but Sassy’s parents were equally influential in how I would parent. I learned quite a bit from them. Your great grandfathers, George Sprague, Jr and Glen Keys, worked very had and provided emotional and financial security for their families. I aspired to the same work ethic, and decided to make sacrifices in the short term, which would produce benefits for the future. In the same fashion, your great grandmothers Betty Sprague and Marty Keys, were role models as well, but Sassy can tell their stories and impact better than I can.
Like I noted in the last note, in my early years my father wasn’t very verbal in expressing his love. I was determined to tell your mother (Hannah) with words, “I love you!” I wanted her to hear it. Just as important, I wanted her to know it by my actions! Just saying it isn’t enough. Actions do speak louder than words!
One of my goals as a parent, was to never speak down to Hannah, as best as possible to try to always find something positive to express. I was not, however, afraid to express concerns about her behavior, but I still tried my best not to demean. Somewhere along the way, I adopted the habit that I would never call her Stupid, Bad, Dumb, Mean, etc. She was good, but her behavior was Stupid, Bad, Dumb, Mean, etc. There was one incident, however, when she was out of college and living at home she treated your grandmother with disrespect and was rude. I violated that principle and looked her in the eye and said, “You Are Stupid!” Not my best moment, but at 22 it was a sign of stupidity and I hadn’t raised a stupid daughter! This is a good time to state another important way I tried to parent, I wasn’t afraid to admit I was wrong. There were times I may have been too strict, jumped to conclusions and my actions were not the best. Once I realized my mistake I tried to express my remorse, to say I was sorry and to ask her forgiveness. Parents make mistakes. When we ask for forgiveness, we need to be forgiven!
For better or worse, your mother was surrounded by a lot of people who loved her. We often commented that she was raised by college students and had a lot of caring adults in her life. Get her to share her memories. The upside was I didn’t try to dumb things down. I didn’t speak baby talk to her. I used real words. I did my best to listen to her questions and to never blow her off. One of my favorite authors was C. S. Lewis. Though he was a bachelor most of his life and never a father, he gave a perspective on children I embraced. He said most adults see children as below them and over the years they grow to where they can look you in the eye. His concept was chlidren and parents should always be on the same eye level and over the years their legs grow to reach the reach the ground. Simply put, children don’t grow up, they grow down. It is a concept which is hard to grasp, and children should be allowed to be children, but I liked seeing the potential adult.
As your mother learned to talk, identify colors, shapes, count to ten, then to 100 I also introduced other math concepts. We would say together the square roots of all the prime numbers, 4, 9 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100 and she memorized those. She learned at an early age Florida was a Peninsula, because it was a body of land surrounded by water on 3 sides and an Island was a body of land surrounded by water on all sides. As she described each one she would also interject, “With a Beach!” Being Floridians we taught her to love the beach.
It was part of my teaching style to let her discover things on her own. As a parent, teaching was not just telling but experiencing. We were staying with her Keys Grandparents when she was just starting to crawl. Mema and I were in the living room drinking coffee and your mother reached out for my cup. The cup was not burning hot, but it would still feel hot to the touch. She stood and reached for the cup which I handed to her and said “Hot!” Her Mema questioned my actions. I told her now when she gets close to a fire, a stove or oven and someone warns her it is hot she will know not to touch it. I would rather her fingers feel the heat of a ceramic mug than a source which would leave a scar.
Speaking of teaching, when she needed help with homework, she always wanted me to just tell her the answer. I couldn’t do that. Sometimes it was clear she hadn’t done the reading and she wanted to short cut the process. I would have her go over the material and we would find the answer together. When it came to math, she had to show her work. There are very few shortcuts in life. When you find them take them, but most of the time you can’t bypass the important steps! To this day, your mother still comes to me for help and advice. She still asks me to fix things from time to time. I think she trusts me!
Sassy was a great mother. Way more gracious with her time. Way more gracious in giving material things and in activities. Even to this day they have an incredible bond of which I have always been a bit envious! They really think each other’s thoughts and complete each other’s sentences. Though we shared all the responsibilities of parenting and nothing was off limits, I tended to be involved in the more active activities. Sassy probably transported her to more activities and may have even attended more events, but I was in the driveway shooting baskets after dark or throwing the ball playing catch. I put together most her big toys (Swing Sets and Jungle Gyms) and learned how to play with them. During her toddler days through elementary school, indoor play houses with bounce house houses, ball pits and tunnels through which a person could crawl were very popular. There was a season when she and I spent many Saturday or Sunday afternoons there. Usually I was the oldest adult male in the different activities. Often, I would start to talk to another person about the child they were with and discovered they were the grandparents. For many years I kept these knee pads in my car, always ready for the indoor gyms!
Experiencing and Experimenting are a great way to learn. Like most kids, there is a point in time when you get your first battery operated Barbie Car (I think this year you got a mini Mercedes). Your mother loved to drive hers up and down, back and forth on our driveway. After a couple of months she and Sassy would ask me to back it out of the garage. I would walk her to the car and say get in and have her back it out. At first she was reticent and Sassy thought I was expecting too much of her. Slowly, wihth my direction, she was able to back it out. Next, your guessed it! When it needed to put away, I let her drive it. She then learned to drive a Golf Cart Mema and Papa Keys kept at their Waynesville home. They upgraded to a Polaris, but I am not sure she ever drove it much. It was a little rugged.
After she graduated from college, she traded her college car for a Land Rover. I was not a big fan of the trade, and it was a time she didn’t take my advice. A few weeks after her purchase, while visiting Mema and Papa, we spent the day at The Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. At the time (around 2014) Land Rover had a driving course for owners. We signed up for one and they gave her a little off road experience! It was a lot of fun. It all goes back to the Barbie Car. This picture was on the trip to Waynesville. She is driving her Land Rover and we are singing “She’s in Love with the Boy!”
Like I said earlier, Sassy was much better at parenting than I was. To my credit, though, I hope you see I was very hands on. Climbing on Jungle Gyms, playing in ball pits, parking the Barbie car, Playing Horse in the driveway were definitely in my wheel house. There were activities I was asked to share outside of my comfort zone. One of those activities was going to a ceramic shop where we would paint a ceramic figure together and they would glaze and fire it. I am not gifted in the graphic arts, but it was a great activity for us to do together so Sassy could get a break and do her thing. It was tedious for me and I don’t really enjoy an activity I don’t feel I do well. The time I spent one on one with your mother was worth all my awkward feeling. I think she enjoyed watching me struggle at something. I think she knew it was a sacrifice of my time and I would rather be doing something else, almost anything else. I think she liked being better at something than I was and showing me how to do something. The final product was always satisfying. After you finished painting an object, you would leave it and the employees would complete the final steps of glazing and firing it. After about a week you could come back and pickup the final product. When you returned to pick up your priceless creation it was placed on shelves in the back of store. Once we went back to the store, walked to the pick up area, but it wasn’t there. We looked and asked the attendant where it was. For a brief moment I feared our work of art had not survived the fiery furnace, possibly mistakenly picked up by someone or stolen because of it’s unique beauty! We described our work of art to the attendant. After a moment, she said, “We put that one on display in Store Window!” We walked to the display window and there it was for the whole world to see, our Dad/Daughter masterpiece! There’s a little Michelangelo in all of us!
In the early years of CrossRoad Church, while your mother was in elementary school, Sassy had Choir Practice. This was our Date Night. Dad and Daughter dinners became the highlight of the week. We often looked for Kids eat free nights! As she got older, she could fend for herself. I loved those days. I miss those days. We have had a few of those days together and I hope you will cherish those memories.
The Bible doesn’t provide an exhaustive, step by step instruction manual on how to raise children. Quite frankly, there are a lot of horror stories of dysfunctional families which God still managed to use to tell His story.
There are several Proverbs which give some guidance, but most of my inspiration came from observing and following how Jesus treated all people and His relationship with His Heavenly Father. Having a good earthly father and father in law, made it even easier to see God as my loving Father and to aspire to those same attributes.
Parenting requires Unconditional love. It is hard to always love unconditionally. There are standards and expectations you know will be beneficial to your child, but when they rebel you still have to find ways to love and you may have to work out some plan of redemption!
Being a pastor has a lot of responsibilities and demands on your time. I tried to let Hannah and Sassy know they were always my first reponsibility and it mattered more to me what they thought of me as a father and husband than what people thought of me as a pastor. God makes us His highest priority. God makes Himself available. Hannah knew she could always call me and as best I could I would always take her call. I did have to encourage her to call my assistant some times and let her see if she could help. There were many times she would just walk into my office without knocking and not knowing with whom I was meeting. I am certain I have bothered God the Father regularly with my childish requests!
Jesus had a way of being present and in the moment. It is hard for me! I did my best when I was with Hannah to give her my full attention. It was hard sometimes with the demands of ministry. When we went on vacation, my attention was mostly on her. Cruises, Beach trips, Mountain and ski trips were centered on the family. It changed a little the more independent she became and she developed interests of her own. Since she was an only child, we often brought a friend with us on vacations. It did mean we had to share her, but we recognized how much fun she had. Soon there will be three of you. Your parents are going to have fun staying in the moment with all of you!
Any one who decides to be a parent needs to count the cost. Parenting requires sacrifice. You can’t love your things more than your children. No piece of art, furniture, sporting equipment, item of clothing, car, time or effort is withheld to be a parent. Jesus’ disciple John wrote this “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” I John 3:16 NKJV. I would like to think I laid down my life for Hannah. I have done and given her and now you as much as I can!
Our family spent a lot summers participating with my Sister’s family hiking the Wilderness Trail. Hannah grew up attending many of the retreats and was absorbed into the culture. She never hiked until the summer between her sophomore and junior year of High School and then between junior and senior year. It was not necessarily her thing but she gave it a try. On the first year, she was really challenged and struggled on the second day. For about the last two miles, I carried her pack and mine. We slowly and surely made it to our camp site. The Bible tells us we can trust God with our burdens. “Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalms 55:22 NASB Paul writes that a follower of Jesus should. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 NKJV. As a parent, you should always be ready to care your load and the load of those in your family. There was no way I would have left my child out there struggling on the trail. I have hiked a few other hikes and lifted other peoples burdens, but there is no greater Joy than carrying your own child!
This pretty much all I know about parenting, about being a good father.
Here are some pictures of us doing some of our favorite activities!
When I think about my father, the first thoughts and memories I have are that he was good and I learned a lot from him.
Probably the greatest memories I have of Dad, were how he introduced our family to boating and water skiing. He bought our first boat when I was 7 years old. That was the summer Sarah and I learned to water ski. We lived near a lake and he would trailer the boat to a friend’s boat ramp where we spent a lot of Saturdays skiing in Lake Coway in South Orlando.
One Saturday, after the boat had been launched, the battery was dead and the boat couldn’t start. Dad pulled the boat over to the bank of a canal where the car was parked. He then disconnected the car battery and connected it to the boat terminals. Our day of skiing was saved! Late in the afternoon he beached the boat near the parked car to transfer the battery back to the car. As he began to step on the bank of the canal he saw a water moccasin coiled and ready to strike. Dad grabbed a boat oar and whacked the snake til there wasn’t much left of the snake or the oar. At the time it was sort of funny to watch, but it was quite scary as well!
Later that summer, we took one of our trips to visit the Sprague farm in Hamilton, Massachusetts where Dad was reared. Most of the time Dad spent helping my Grandparents make repairs while Sarah and I played around the farm with our New England Cousins. We picked strawberries and took them to the roadside stand on 93 Bridge Street to sell. Grampy Sprague, your great, great grandfather would give us a cut of the profits.
While Dad was working on the farm, I was invited to come help my cousin Jim Liacos repair the roof on a tree house by the road leading to the house. We were having the best time, until I got too close to the edge and fell off and landed on the ground. As I landed, I braced my fall with my hands and arms. Getting up at first I felt fine. Then I began to feel a bit dizzy and both wrists began to ache and start to swell. My cousins took me into the milk room of the barn and began to run cold water on my wrist. I guess with all the commotion, my mom wandered out to the milk room and sensed something was wrong and the cold water wasn’t helping. Off we went to the hospital where the xray revealed I had cracked the bones of both arms just above my wrist. That event ended two things. Dad got a ladder and tore the tree house down (my cousins have never let me forget it) and, when we returned to Orlando, it ended water skiing for the summer. It was a very long, hot summer!
Sometimes we would trailer our boat to other lakes in Central Florida. One adventure was to launch our boat in Lake Eloise, near Winter Haven, Florida. The lake was the home of Cypress Gardens and they hosted a ski performance there. Dad was a little clueless and before we knew it we were almost part of the show. They began to send boats out to let us know we were too close to their beach. It was the closest I ever got to being a professional water skier. We still managed to do a lot of boating. Late in the day, the skies suddenly turned dark and cloudy. In just a matter of moments the clouds opened up with rain, lightning and thunder. We were all a little scared, but Dad got us back to shore. Presently, Lego Land owns the beach where the ski shows were at Cypress Gardens. I am sure we will visit there one day!
When I was 9, Dad and Mom bought a lot on lake Conway and built their dream home. We now had our own access to the water and boating and skiing became an even bigger part of my life. Sometime around 10 years old, Dad and I built a small row boat. I don’t remember how many nights and weekends it took to build, but the final product is still one of my best! So many afternoons after school and weekends I spent rowing around Lake Conway. It provided steps towards building my confidence and competency. It was my boat and I was the captain. I loved to row my boat around the lake by myself. It may be the first memories of my awareness of God’s Creation. Sometimes it was still and I just felt peace. When the wind blew it was like the breath God! As I paddled into shore, I would be following the Sun and as it set I would be in awe of God’s Creation. To this day, I still value solitude and being in nature makes me very aware of our Creator God. By the time I was 14, my parents trusted me enough to take the boat on the water by myself. Dad had taught we a lot about how to navigate the boat on the lake. A few years later, we salvaged a small sail boat and Dad taught me the rudimentary techniques for sailing that small dingy. It replaced the old row boat. It was great to feel the rush of an Outboard Boat Motor, but it was equally great to feel the power of the wind filling the sails of our little boat.
An important part of the memory of my father was you should do your work before you played. My dad never complained about hard work. The harder the task, the greater he would rise to the occasion. While sometimes I didn’t particularly like having to do the yard work before we got to play (particularly boat and ski), his work ethic is one I greatly value. Dad taught me how to use tools, how to do yard work, he wasn’t afraid to take something apart to try to fix it. This is largely due to the fact that he was reared on a farm and things had to be maintained and repaired. Even now, I love to see what makes things work. Though I don’t live on a farm and things are not as scarce as they were when my father as a child, it is still hard for me to just throw something away when it stops working. I love fixing things, though at times it does cause me some frustration. It does out weigh the frustration when I do acutally fix something or find a way to use something to accomplish a task. We live in a disposable world, but dad never gave up hope something could be repaired. Maybe that is why I believe so strongly in redemption! God doesn’t throw things away. God finds away to repair and redeem if we let Him. We will talk about that!
Later in life Dad was always available to help with projects around our house and to help with equipment for our traveling ministry. After mom died in June of 1985, I think it was therapy for him to come and visit Sassy and me and help with chores, repairs and projects. Dad and I remodeled a part of our garage to be used for practice and recording. He helped us retrofit an old 1959 former Greyhound bus used for our traveling ministry for about ten years. He also learned to drive the bus and drove it for many of the trips our retirees took at Lakewood UMC. The older I became, the more appreciation I grew to have for how great a father and person he was. A memory I cherish, was a tour to Israel we took a few months after mom died in the fall of 1985. It was an emotional time for him. It was a trip mom and he had wanted to do, but her health prevented it. He mourned he hadn’t done it while she was in good health In the last 10 years before mom died, she had come into a wonderful personal relationship with Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord. Mom had always been the one who was a little more interested in her faith. For dad, it wasn’t very personal, but faith was necessary. Over that ten year period, dad also began a very intimate, personal relationship with Jesus. Being in Israel helped all of us gain a greater insight into the faith of those in the Old Testament and the witness of the life, death, resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit contained in the New Testament. At one moment dad would be missing mom and then in the next moment so filled with Joy! I am teary eyed recalling these memories! Very special and heart warming!
As a child, Dad was always faithful to attend Woship and being a member of a church mattered. He wasn’t much of a singer and he knew it. He just went through the motions during Worship. Most of my memories were watching his head bob during the preaching. After his relationship with Jesus became personal, he would stand, lift his hands and sing as loud as he could his adoration and praise for his loving Heavenly Father, for the forgiveness of sin Jesus paid for on the cross and the outpouring of the living presence of the Holy Spirit he had learned to trust with his life. Over the years, he acutally got better at matching pitch as he sang! What a great memory!
These memories actually are just a small part of what I loved about my father. The important things I remember are he made me feel safe and secure. There was never a doubt his main mission was to take care of his family. My father’s generation did not say I love you on a regular basis, but I never doubted his love for me. Providing security and taking care of the family was how most men of that time expressed their love. Early in my life, I felt my Father’s love was conditional. Not that I had to earn it, but there were certain attitudes and actions I knew would please my mother and him, and actions that would not. At my core I wanted to please him, but sometimes I rebelled, sometimes I failed, sometimes it was just hard to know what to do! Later in life I came to understand how hard it is to show unconditional love. I gained an even greater understanding of how difficult it was to be a parent when I became a father to your mother. You want to love your child unconditionally, but you also need to teach and model boundaries! After he began his personal relationship with Jesus his love changed. He even let me know he was a bit sorry he hadn’t said it more to me when I was younger. There was never any doubt in my father was good, kind and loving and for the last years of his life he never missed a chance to tell me he loved me!
A part of the Good News that Jesus preached was God was Jesus’ Father. It was a concept at the core of the Old Testament. God sent Jesus into the world to reveal His amazing love for humanity. Jesus often spoke of God as His father.
As a child, on a visit to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover, Jesus wandered off and his parents couldn’t find. “Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers. So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.” Luke 2:46-50 NKJV. Jesus knew at an early age His Father is acutally in heaven. He was perfectly comfortable in the Temple and displayed amazing personal knowledge of God because He knew Him as Father.
Mary and Joseph must have been quite perplexed. A parent’s worse nightmare is having their child wander from their care. As relieved as they must have felt, they still must have expressed their concern He had been abducted. On the other hand, they must have realized God really was Jesus’ Father and God had a plan for Him to reveal His Father!
When His followers asked Him how to pray this was His response. ““This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,”. Matthew 6:9 NIV
After Jesus death and resurrection, Jesus’ followers became keenly aware of Jesus message and preached God was a Loving Father!
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,”. 2 Corinthians 1:3 NIV
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope,”. 2 Thessalonians 2:16 NIV
“To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.” 2 Timothy 1:2 NIV
When I began my relationship with Jesus Christ it was no trouble to understand God as my Heavenly Father. When I was taught that God was our Loving Heavenly Father, it was easy to accept because I already had a Good, Kind and Loving Father and it made me want to know and love my Heavenly Father and my earthly parents!
After 31 notes, you probably have started to understand how important my personal relationship with Jesus is! The memories of my loving parents made it easy to accept God as my loving Father and to want to Follow His Son.
If you haven’t already come to know Jesus in a personal way, it’s easy! Here’s a prayer that you can pray!
Father, I am thankful for my earthly parents (and Grandparents)! They have told me a lot about how You love me and You sent Jesus into the world to tell us of Your love. Without Jesus, I would never know Your love. Today, I am inviting Jesus into my heart to be my Savior and Lord. I know that without Jesus, without His Salvation I couldn’t know the Father’s love. Jesus, I am also bowing to you as Lord. I want to know your will, your plan, my purpose. I choose to follow you! In the Name of Jesus!
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” Revelation 3:20 NKJV
One of the favorite movies we watched with your mother when she was a young child was the original Parent Trap. In one of the scenes, the grandfather asks one of the twins, “did we make a memory?” Quite often through her life and even sometimes since she has become an adult I still ask her that question. Your mother’s response was never as enthusiastic as the character in the movie. Hopefully we will watch both versions of this movie some time! Also, I am glad to know she wants us to make some memories together!
Harper, since you are the oldest I probably have the most memories of you! When we inherited the GEM Electric Car you named it the GoGo. You were about 1 1/2 years old when we started taking trips around the neighborhood in the evenings looking for Deer. To give you a little perspective of something that happened when you were young was the COVID Pandemic. Starting in late March of 2020 and for several months we spent a lot of time at our homes with family and close friends. Riding around the neighborhoods with you that spring and summer provided joy and peace during a worldwide tragedy. During that time we also started taking trips to the neighborhood playground and spent lots of time by our pool. You were just getting used to the water and we played on the deck as you threw toys for me to retrieve. At this time, we have taken two trips to Disney, a summer and winter trip to Copper Mountain (where you played in the snow and on the frozen pond for the first time), and this past year we had some fun walks together at the Waynesville Mountain House rolling down the hill, jumping into the leaves and playing in the bounce house!
BP, we are just starting to form some memories. When your mother went back to teaching, you started spending Mondays with Sassy and me. You have also been spending more mornings at our house before you go to childcare. In the mornings as I sit and drink coffee on the back porch, I hear the garage door open and you saying DadGee and you make your way to the porch and climb up on my lap! After a moment, you climb down in search of the golf bag and start pulling out clubs and balls, as we putt around the porch. Your first trip to Disney was quite high maintenance. It was Harper’s second birthday and you were barely even 5 months old. The second trip you were still too young to really experience things, but I am sure our next trip will be very memorable! You are a perpetual motion boy. It’s fun to watch you move from one activity to another. When we sit on the pool deck of the pool, you have to be watched all the time. Summer of 2022 we learned in the blink of an eye you would crawl off the deck as soon as you were set down!
Your mother should have a lot of these pictures that will help you remember some of these events.
Blake, even though you are not born yet, you are already bringing a lot of joy into our lives and memories have already been made. On Christmas Eve 2022, at our Douglas/Sprague Christmas dinner and gift exchange, your parents had planned a gender reveal. The highlight of our night was a balloon Sassy and BeeBee were given the task of popping to reveal your gender. As pink confetti blew through the air, Sassy and BeeBee jumped up and down while Sassy was still holding a knife in her hand! Thankfully no one was stabbed! You are already celebrated and the day of your birth will be a great memory!
Since I retired in 2018, I have been spending 10-12 weeks of the winter at Copper Mountain. People come to visit me so I am never alone for too long. I started bringing a digital picture frame filled will pictures of you and our family. As they scroll through a loop of pictures my heart is warmed by many of the events we have shared and some shared while I am here alone. Though I miss you, the pictures bring me Joy and Happiness!
This is a great time to talk about memories. There are two types of memories: Good and Bad. If you aren’t careful Bad memories will define your life. Many people dwell on them and consequently never reach their God-ordained purpose. There will be bad and sad memories in your life, but they do not have to define you! It is so important to celebrate the great and happy times. Quite frankly, most people’s good and happy memories greatly outnumber the sad and bad, but it is our nature to dwell on the sad and bad. Don’t do that! Remember! Celebrate! Give Thanks!
In the years I have left with you I want us to have Great, Joyful, Happy, Memorable Memories! Probably my greatest purpose in life is to help provide those for you.
It was a special gift from your mother to ask these questions of me. By the time you are able to read and comprehend them, I will be very old and may even be in heaven. Many of these notes have reminded me of happy memories and events as well as lessons I have learned. Writing these has been a great way for me to celebrate how Good God has been to me and what a wonderful life I have had. I hope I have passed on these memories to you and they will be part of your life! Not memories of me for my sake, but memories that, I hope, will remind you of my love for you, wanting God’s best for you and sharing my memories to help you on your journey.
Just a few weeks ago we celebrated BP’s baptism. I have written about Harper’s baptism that was in September of 2020! Blake, I look forward to your baptism in the near future! Baptism is a celebration of Jesus’ death on the Cross and His resurrection from the grave. As the water was poured on your head, it symbolizes your death to sin which is also covered by the blood of Jesus Christ (It is a lifetime journey to fully appreciate this) and now the resurrection power of Jesus Christ is in your life. Some versions of Christianity wait until a person is able to make their own profession of faith. Infant Baptism is an act of faith that states even before you could decide for yourself, Jesus died for your sins.
Romans 5:8 NKJV “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
These moments are acutally my greatest memories of you and the ones that I pray you will embrace for your lifetime. There were many witnesses that you were baptized. We affirmed that you are a Child of God. It will be up to you to make this memory a part of who you are!
Our faith as followers of Jesus Christ is based on the memory that Jesus Christ shed His blood and gave His body so we could have abundant and eternal life. During Jesus’ last meal with His closest friends he shared how and what He wanted them to remember!
Matthew 26:26-29 NKJV “And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.”” Luke 22:17-20 NKJV “Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, “Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” Likewise He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you.”
I Corinthians 11:23-26 NKJV “For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.”
Throughout my life I have relied on this celebration to remember that I am a sinner saved by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I am adopted into God’s family and have the reminder nothing can separate me from the love of God Jesus shows the world. My prayer is at an early age your parents will be faithful to having you attend worship and regularly celebrate the Lord’s Supper. When you see another person Baptized, infant or older you will embrace the memory of your Baptism. Even in times of trouble, trials, doubt and possible seasons of separation from God, something inside you will bring up the remembrance of your Baptism. Martin Luther, a great leader in the church during the 16th century, while enduring times of struggle was known to write the word’s “I am Baptized!” He did this to drown the negative words of doubt and despair, the bad memories of life and to remember that he was a sinner saved by the washing of our sins through the grace of Jesus Christ! I imagine, when he celebrated the Lord’s Supper he was reminded as well.
Something I hope that you will remember about me, is when I pray before a meal it is not just to ask God to bless it! I am giving thanks for the necessities of life: Food, Family, Friends, a warm place in which to eat it, but most importantly for the broken body of Jesus Christ and for His blood! Everyday, every meal, every moment I try to remember that and give thanks! Below are some pictures of Harper and BP that I take the credit for teaching you!
This is probably why your parents rarely left me in charge of you alone!
To be totally honest, I don’t think there are talents I would choose other than the ones I have pursued. There’s a sense of peace and contentment to be writing this into my 5th year of retirement and just a few months away from my 70th birthday!
As I shared in an earlier note my only regret was I didn’t pursue my musical talents a little more purposefully. My parents were happy and supportive of my musical abilities, but their emphasis was much more on academics and character development. Music, to them, was a bit of diversion from reaching my potential as an adult. At the time, most of friends were nurtured in the same way and music at best was a hobby. It was fine to be passionate about it, but other talents were more important.
As life would have it, I am glad for the path I followed. At a fairly early age, I really believed God had a plan for my life. If it included music, so be it. If it was another direction so be it! The path I would follow, music would play a great part in it, but my academic training, my character development and my leadership skills would be used to a greater extent throughout my life and especially in the ministry.
There is one physical attribute I often longed to have. To be about 2 inches taller would have helped me, and I might have been a better athlete. Sitting down I am almost as tall as most men. I just have short legs. Sitting down, I was actually taller than my father, but he had long legs and when he stood, he towered over me. It’s hard to find 29–30-inch length pants. My waist size has fluctuated around 32-33 inches, and it is healthy measurement. It is so much easier to find pants for a 32-inch waist and 32 or longer length. Most of my adult life my average weight was about 170 pounds. At 5’7” I always felt a little stocky as they say. My friends who were taller always looked more fit and athletic at the same weight. Who knows, if I was 2 inches taller, I probably would have been 20 pounds heavier too. It possibly was part of God’s plan. I might have pursued sports more vigorously making it harder to hear God’s voice calling me into the ministry.
Now in the years we have together, I am committed to helping your parents develop your God given talents, abilities and passions. As God wills, I am committed to supporting you even more than my parents and grandparents supported me. I hope to help provide you with the instruction and coaching you need to pursue your talents and abilities.
Along with that, I am also committed to helping you hear God’s voice and discern his will for your life. I have prayed for you since the day you were born. Actually, yesterday, Sunday, January 8, 2023, we celebrated Benjamin Paul’s baptism. Harper, you were baptized as well on Sunday September 20, 2020. Those are your earliest steps on your journey of faith in God’s love which was shown through His only Son Jesus of Nazareth. The most important part of becoming fully human and reaching your God given potential begins with acknowledging even with all your gifts and talents, you need a Savior. Jesus died to Save you from our broken human nature. He rose from the dead so His Holy Spirit could guide you on your journey. Allow Him to be your Lord and trust His will is best for you.
Here are some scriptures and truths from the Bible I hope and pray you will embrace!
By the time you are reading this, I hope you have learned the Lord’s Prayer. I hope it is not a prayer you have only memorized and can recite like a parrot, but it becomes the model for your prayers. In Matthew 6:9-13 Jesus teaches His closest friends how to pray.
Matthew 6:9-13 NASB The Lord’s Prayer 9 “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.’ At the center of this prayer is submission to God’s will!
Over the course of my life following Jesus, I have come to an understanding there are two parts to the Will of God. There are truths which are GENERAL to all and then there are SPECIFICS uniquely for the individual.
The general truths of God’s Will are much easier to discern. Here are a few.
Micah 6:8 NASB 8 He has told you, mortal one, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you. But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?
It’s not terribly hard to understand.
Here’s another. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NASB 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
God’s will is really simple!
Jesus tells an important part of God’s General Will.
John 13:34 NASB 34 I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
Start with loving your parents, then your siblings, then your friends and finally love your enemies.
These truths may be the most important part of God’s Will for humanity.
Mark 12:30-31 NASB 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
It gets even more radical and challenging!
Matthew 5:43-48 NASB 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may prove yourselves to be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors, do they not do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Even the Gentiles, do they not do the same? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
One of the greatest stories Jesus told tells us who our neighbors are.
Luke 10:25-37 NASB 25 And behold, a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And He said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.” 29 But wanting to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he encountered robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. 31 And by coincidence a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32 Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan who was on a journey came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, 34 and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return, I will repay you.’ 36 Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?” 37 And he said, “The one who showed compassion to him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.”
Jesus is telling the young man that the people group he hated the most actually showed love and mercy to a person who actually hated him. That’s love!
Those truths pretty much summarize what God’s General Will is for you and all humanity. Discerning his Specific Will for you is more of a challenge. It is a life long journey beginning with prayer. When you are making decisions, ask God silently to help you. Don’t base every decision on just what you desire. Ask God to direct you. Spend a few minutes each day asking for God to guide you. Reread one of the scriptures above to remind you of God’s General Will. A scripture which has helped guide me is James 4.
James 4:13-17 NASB 13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. 17 So for one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, for him it is sin.
It is challenging to know God’s will in every specific area of your life. At times, I think God leaves some of the decisions up to us. I learned my decision making process always needed an escape clause. While I was considering what I wanted to do, I tried to give God the last word. “If the Lord wills…” There were a few times I missed God’s will and I had to circle back and start again. Some decisions may have even affected the course of my, but it is amazing how much direction God gives even when a person isn’t really open to listening. Make your plans, but always give God the last word. There’s a clever statement that I like. “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plan!”
Ultimately what I learned was the better I followed God’s General Will, the easier it was to know and follow his specific will. You may not fully understand this the first time you read this note, but over the years if you begin to embrace this, I fully believe you will find purpose and contentment following Jesus. When you do you will increase your chance of reaching your human personal potential, and your gifts and talents will shine!
It’s Monday morning. A man walks into a produce market and asks the manager if there are any oranges. He informs him there was a hard freeze in the area they get their oranges and there wouldn’t be any oranges for a week. On Tuesday, the same man walks into the produce market and asks the man if there are any oranges. The manager politely tells the man there is shortage of oranges because of hard freeze and there won’t be any oranges until next Monday. Wednesday morning the same man walks into the produce market and asks the same question. The manager is a little perturbed about the same question and as politely as possible gives the man the same answer for a third time. It’s Friday morning, you guessed it! Same man, same question. The manager is fed up with the request and is at wits end. He says to the man, “If you take the Straw out of Strawberries, what do you have?” The man answered, “Berries.” The manager then asked, “If you take the Blue out of Blueberries, what do you have?” He answered, “Berries.” Next, he asked, “If you take the Black out of Blackberries, what do you have?” He answered, “Berries.” The manager said, “Sir, so far you are correct. What if you take the Stink out of Oranges?” The man was puzzled and answered, “There is no Stink in Oranges.” The manager looked the man in the eye and said, “You are correct again! There were no STINKIN’ Oranges on Monday, No STINKIN’ Oranges Tuesday, No STINKIN’ Oranges on Wednesday, No STINKIN’ Oranges Today. We won’t have any Oranges until Monday. Now get out of the store and don’t come back until then!” I know what you are thinking. I am not very good at telling jokes. You are right. I do, however, know a good joke when I hear one and I like to hear them. Laughter is good for your soul! It helps us stay emotionally healthy, but only if we are able to laugh at ourselves and not at others! Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. Here’s a little advice. Make fun of yourself, and not others! Avoid people who make fun of you but try to see if there is any truth in their comments. If you choose to make fun of others, be ready to take your own medicine!!!!! Avoid any jokes which demean a particular culture, gender, or a person’s physical appearance. There are a couple of exceptions! It’s ok to make fun of Rednecks and people from the North. I have family from the South and the Northeast, and we are pretty funny! You might even be able to make fun of people from California, but it may have fallen into the sea by the time you are reading this. Actually, stick to just making fun of yourself. As a preacher, I liked to make people laugh. Mark Rutland, who I wrote about a couple of notes back was very good at using humor to help make a point. I remember him telling me he wasn’t very good at telling jokes or funny stories, but he was good at telling stories funny. Though I was never as accomplished as Mark, I aspired to his style. When I preached, I liked telling stories. I shared a lot about our family. When your mother was young, each week she would ask if I was going to tell a story about her. When she was a teenager, I realized oflten what I thought was funny, was not always funny to her. I began to ask her permission if I could talk about her. Most of the time she approved. By the way, if I ever told a story demeaning anyone or putting someone else down, it never felt good! I regret I sometimes went too far. I had to apologize a few times. Sadly, I am sure there were people I hurt by my reckless and insensitive sense of humor. Let me see it again, I regret it! There were also Preacher stories I liked to tell. They probably weren’t true, but you acted like they were to make a point. One of my favorites was a behavioral psychological experiment testing the attitudes of twins. They put one twin in a room filled with manure up to his neck. He cried and complained until he was rescued from the setting. When the other twin was placed in the room, he immediately started to dive down deep into the manure and was laughing as he played in the deep pile. When the researchers removed him from the room, they asked “Why are you so happy?” He said, “With all this manure, there had to be a pony in there somewhere!” In your life, you will find yourself knee deep in manure sometimes. It is your choice how you will react! Keep looking for the pony! Preachers often tell stories as if they actually happened to them. It personalized the story. Here’s a favorite of mine. A little girl comes to her father and asks, “How does God open a rose and it is so beautiful, but when I open it, it looks like this!” She holds up a mess of rose pedals. The father is speechless. In a moment she comes up with her own answer. “I know,” she says, “When God opens it, He does it from the inside!” I hope you get the point. After your mother was born, I would tell the story as if it was a conversation we had. When I got to the end, I then said it really didn’t happen to us, but I wanted to personalize it. I tried to always be honest and never exaggerate, but it was fun to tell a simple story and use it to make an impact! Here’s my best advice! Laugh a lot! Laugh at yourself. Make friends with people who have a good sense of humor and don’t take themselves too seriously. Watch funny sitcoms! Find comedian, who makes you laugh! As you know, one of my favorite activities is playing golf. I was never very good, but I enjoyed the company. Golfers tell a lot of jokes. Some I can’t repeat, a lot I don’t remember, and a lot of them sound the same. One of my favorites is a story about a John Daly. John had a reputation for being quite funny. He is playing in a Pro/Am and the amateur asked if there was simple tip to drive the ball little further. John smiled, bent over, placed his tee in the ground and then placed his ball on the tee. He stood up and addressed the ball. Then he looked at the amateur and said watch. He bent over and pushed the tee forward just a little further and said, “Do this and it will go a little further!” Probably only funny to the others in the group! This is note 28. You probably have learned by now I like to tell stories. I am not interested in keeping my memory alive, I am interested in you learning a bit from my life’s experience. If you really want to laugh, ask your mother or Sassy tell you funny stories about me! By the way, one of my favorite portraits of Jesus was given to me by my mother when I was a teenager. He is smiling! Most all the pictures I had seen he looked serious and somber! I have kept that picture almost 60 years. It made me feel good to see just smiling at me! It makes me feel good sharing it with you! He is smiling at you!
With this note I am starting the second half of my year on notes. Every week I wonder if this will be the week I just draw a blank, but I am happy to share with you on this topic! Quite frankly, the note just prior to this recounts people with wisdom who affected my life, but it is also a remembrance of those who inspired me. Each person mentioned inspired me and I am grateful for them. The reality of my life is I have been blessed to have had a lot of people in my life giving me inspiration Somehow, I avoided the negative voices of so many people in my early life. The environment in which I lived was quite nurturing. Of course, there were negative voices, but the positive voices were so much louder. As I was writing last week’s note I began to think about a person who had great influence in my life. I am glad I saved his story for this week. His inspirational influence in my life helped me in many ways. Even though I only used my Math Major and Education minor for a year and a half, the choice of them was of less impact than the man who would be me College advisor. Dr. Henry Hartje was in his first year as head of the Math Department at Florida Southern College. He was my advisor and my Calculus 101 Professor. If my memory serves me correctly, his undergraduate and master’s degrees were from University of Arkansas. He was a true Red-Blooded Razorback. He had taught a few years early at the college but left to pursue his PhD in education at University of Georgia. He was a brilliant mathematician, but it was his passion for education which affected me the most. I am not sure I could recall any calculus, but I am happy to remember and celebrate his personal impact on my life and recognize the inspiration he was! The first exam of the semester was a review of basic Algebra I had learned in High School, and I made an A plus. The second exam I think was a D minus (it might have been worse). It was pretty common among most of my classmates. He told us we would be able to drop one test score at the end of semester and he would do his best to make himself available to us if we needed help. I NEEDED HELP! Almost every week I was in his office making sure I understood the concepts of this new level of math. During our meetings, however, it was never just about math. He wanted to know me and wanted me to know he cared about me. It didn’t take long for us to find out we had a common love of Blue Grass Music. He played guitar, but his real claim was a collection of Blue Grass and Country music recordings that filled several shelves in his home office. He and his wife Betty opened their home to me and a few other Blue Grass Fans almost every Friday night while I was in college. It was my home away from home. They had two young children who would peep in and out while we were there. Betty always had a light meal or heavy snacks for us. It was a great break from Dorm and Cafeteria life. Friday nights at the Hartje’s became very special to me. We usually arrived around 6 and tried to leave by 8 so the kids would get to sleep. Other Friday night activities didn’t start till after 8 and most of those activities were not as wholesome and fulfilling as being with the Hartje’s. Sometimes I would take my Friday night date with me to their home and then we would go out for a more typical college Friday night. You learn about a person when you bring them to the home of people you love. Quite frankly if my date didn’t fit in, it was a pretty good sign she was not a keeper. Quite often she figured it out for herself. People who inspire are often people who are passionate about what they do. Dr. Hartje was passionate about being a college professor. He loved teaching, but he loved his students even more and he is responsible for helping me make some wise choices while I was in college. He recognized early in the first semester of my Junior year I would be graduating a semester early and would have finished all of my required hours for my major and minor before my last semester. He suggested I take one more course in the education department and apply to intern in the Polk County Public School System my last semester. It was a novel idea and though I had never considered it, it made sense. The internship went well, and it opened doors for me teach for a year and half. It is no surprise that I do not remember a lot of the theories of education, but I do remember how he inspired me and enabled me to become a good student. By the way, I made A’s on all the other tests in my first semester of Calculus, dropped the D minus and made an A for the semester. To be honest, I could write several chapters about people who inspired me, but the stories would all be very similar. My parents, parents of friends, older friends from our church youth group, adult counselors. The inspirational traits are very common. Passionate about what they do and the people with whom they are doing it. It’s New Year Eve 2022 as am I writing this and I am celebrating memories of those people and I am very grateful for the life I have had and the people who have inspired me. During my years in the ministry, I focused a lot of my energy to make the churches I was serving INSPIRATIONAL. I think most people are motivated to reach their potential, especially their Faith Potential through Inspiration. For several years, the church Sassy and I founded had a mission statement “To inspire people to become followers of Jesus!” It has been a part of my personal mission as well! It is important for me to tell you the most inspirational people I have known were followers of Jesus. When I became mature enough to really embrace the Bible, I found a God who longed for a relationship with me. So much, He sent His only Son into the world to prove His love. Probably the greatest attribute of inspirational people is Hope. Here are a few of my favorite scriptures about that have inspired me.
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hebrews 11:1 NIV “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Romans 5:5 NIV “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Romans 12:12, 13 NIV “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” 13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Today is January 1, 2023. The start of a new year is always a chance to look back on the past, but more importantly to accept the gift of Hope. I am feeling pretty Hopeful today. Writing this note is helping me see the gift of who you are and I am glad to play a part in helping you become the person God created. I do have to accept the fact that by the time you are reading this I may not be living and if I am the person that you see is very old. My greatest desire at this time in my life is to do all that I can to inspire you even knowing that you may not remember some of the events in your early life when I was with you or by the time you are reading this the person you know may not be able to provide inspiration! Hopefully by then, you will be inspiring me! You won’t remember our first trips to Disney, to the Park, or riding the Go Go looking for deer in our neighborhood, swimming in our pool, playing in the bounce house at the North Carolina house, playing on the Ice Pond at Copper Mountain acting out Spidy together or that yesterday we spent time together assembling a small trampoline for you to play with at the house! Let me caution you! There will always be people around you who are negative and hopeless. Sadly you won’t be able to avoid them. Don’t let them steal your Hope and Joy. Don’t let them dim the light of those who are around you lighting your path with Inspiration. You may need to provide them Inspiration. You could be their source of inspiration! Another word of caution, Jesus teaches there is evil in the world always at work trying to rob you of life! John 10:10 NIV “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Don’t let the thief steal your life from you. Accept the promise of abundant and eternal life from Jesus! The core definition of Inspire is to breathe life into something! Let the Holy Spirit of Jesus breathe life into you!
This note could fill several chapters. It may be the most important note so far. Acquiring and using wisdom has served me well over the years and I am blessed to have many people who displayed wisdom and helped me find and follow the path of wisdom. I will be sharing about several people who influenced me, but before I do, I will want to share some about Wisdom in general.
Knowledge and Wisdom are closely related, but also different. In life you may meet people who have a lot of knowledge, but they lack wisdom. Conversely, people with wisdom may not always have the most acquired knowledge. As you grow, my prayer for you is to acquire both, but above all grow in wisdom. Knowledge will not make you wise, but wisdom will almost always help you with whatever knowledge you have.
Here’s a simple example. A person may be knowledgeable about the speed limit, but a wise person follows it. A person may know they shouldn’t jump off the roof and try to defy gravity; a wise person makes the decision to refrain. It is good to find a balance between them.
Fortunately, both of my parents taught and modeled Wisdom for me. In my last note I covered a lot of how they helped me, so I will share about some others.
The pastor in charge of the youth for most of my middle and high school days was Jack Taylor. Jack had the kind of wisdom which valued people and saw and developed the potential in those around him, especially those under his care. After he left my church, he served the church where Sassy and her family were members. He had a great impact on her life as well, was instrumental in us meeting and would perform our wedding ceremony. In the early years of ministry, I served on the staff of Lakewood UMC with him as the Lead Pastor. Jack is what I might call the Pied Piper Leader. He made everything look fun, even if it wasn’t. People wanted to be on his team. He trusted you with responsibility and if you failed he still had your back. I have said about Jack “he gave you enough rope to hang yourself, but he was there to rescue you. If you made a swing out of the rope, he was there on the ground applauding your efforts.” People with wisdom like Jack are important influences in your life and I pray there will be many in your life.
During my first years at Florida Southern College, the chaplain was Tom Price. Tom was an amazing human being! He was the lead communicator for the Sunday Chapel Service and also taught Old and New Testament which were required in those days. Students often felt forced to take these Bible courses, but Tom made it worth it. He had the ability to unravel the historical complexities of Biblical Stories and provide a clear interpretation and application for these stories. Above all else, he was kind! His wife Nancy and his family were very instrumental in my hearing and accepting a call into the ministry. After teaching for a year and a half, I had benefited from the experience, but had never really considered teaching as a life time career. While I grew more restless about my future, Tom called and asked if would join him in ministry at a UM Church in Haines City, Florida. During college I had worked a couple of summers as a youth director at my home church in Orlando and had worked part time one semester at a church in Lakeland. It had been several years since I had been connected with the church and my faith in Jesus was a very low priority. There was, however, something which resonated in my heart this would be a good thing. Tom, Nancy and the whole church embraced me and during the year I rediscovered my personal faith in Jesus as Savior and began to give Him the Lordship of my life. After about 9 months I felt a call to the ministry. When I shared it with Tom, he said he always saw the potential I had to be a minister and part of the reason he had asked me to join him was to help me embrace my God given potential and align again with God’s direction. Tom had great wisdom and many of the people associated with Tom were influenced by his discernment and ability to help people become who God intended them to be. I would like to think I acquired some of his wisdom.
While in seminary, Sassy and I became friends with Alison and Mark Rutland. Mark was a UM pastor about 6 years older than me. He was launching out into a new ministry beyond the local church. God had given Mark a pretty full dose of the Holy Spirit and he had an amazing way of explaining the power of God which comes through the resurrected Jesus Christ. I could relate to Mark. We were both products of the church, but it often lacked in the power of the Holy Spirit. The other extreme of churches expressing the power of the Holy Spirit often seemed a bit strange and sometimes there were abuses. Mark, however, seemed to be right in the middle and was able to hold those two extremes together. It was what I needed. Mark invited us to join him in his Evangelistic Ministry. As I started Seminary I began to wonder what role my musical gifts would play. It seemed maybe it was time to leave it in my past. It seemed logical to close those chapters and move on and to adapt to the normal role of minister. God had a plan for us that would include our musical gifts and Mark was the primary influence in encouraging and facilitating those gifts. Mark was one of those fearless types of people who I always admired but never quite saw myself in that way. To put it simply, Mark filled my courage tank with faith! He had the type of Wisdom able to see beyond the present moment. He helped everyone feel less fearful and more courageous. To be honest Mark would have been successful in any field, but it was the empowerment of the Holy Spirit which set him apart from people who aspire to success only. I am writing this on December 24, 2022. Yesterday I got a text from Mark. Just telling us we are on his heart. It was a pretty great gift.
Your great grandfather Glen Keys (Harper, you have his middle name) is the epitome of Wise. He never finished High School or attended college. I don’t think he ever had a lot of regrets, but I am sure he would encourage you to get as much education as possible. He was a true entrepreneur! He had the kind of wisdom you don’t get in college. In the years I knew him, I consulted him on almost every minor and major decision of my life. Papa had an abundance of common sense wisdom. Though he didn’t pursue classroom education he taught himself to do a lot of things. If it has wheels on it he knew how to drive it. He loved being on the water and he was pretty good at navigating. He had his pilot’s license. Probably his greatest gift of wisdom was he could spot a phony. He didn’t have a lot of time for you if you weren’t genuine. Sassy and I benefited from his wise counsel. I do want to also credit your great grandmother Marty (Mema). They were a great team. If you were to talk to her, I am pretty sure she will tell the source of her wisdom. Read on!
This leads me to the greatest source of wisdom, the Bible in general and the Book of Proverbs specifically. By the time you are reading this, your next read should be the book of Proverbs. As I child I heard many of these Proverbs and they probably were imbedded in heart. As an adult, they became one of my greatest sources of Wisdom and I have read them many times. Wisdom is addressed many times. Here are a few of my favorites!
Proverbs 1 NASB To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice, and integrity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise person will hear and increase in learning, And a person of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a saying, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 3:5,6 NASB Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 16:32 NASBOne who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.
Proverbs 17:27-28 NASB 27 One who withholds his words has knowledge, And one who has a cool spirit is a person of understanding. 28 Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.
Proverbs 22:6-8 NASB 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older he will not abandon it. 7 The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave. 8 One who sows injustice will reap disaster, And the rod of his fury will perish.
Proverbs 23:4 NASB 4 Do not weary yourself to gain wealth; Stop dwelling on it.
Proverbs 24:33-34 NASB 33 “A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to rest,” 34 Then your poverty will come like a drifter, And your need like an armed man.
Proverbs 27:6 NASB 6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:17 NASB 17 As iron sharpens iron, So one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 28:6 NASB 6 Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity, Than a person who is crooked, though he is rich.
Proverbs 31:8-9 NASB 8 Open your mouth for the people who cannot speak, For the rights of all the unfortunate. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the poor and needy.
These are just a few of those. There are 31 Proverbs. Find a month with 31 days and read one a day.
