Before I answer this personally, there is a lot I think is necessary to share as you grow to become a selfless person.

    First, you will learn, humans are selfish by nature. Whether you ascribe to the Biblical view of humanity or come to the realization on your own, most humans need to learn and practice selfless living. Left to our own devices, we all would prefer to have our needs, want and desires come first. It comes naturally. We don’t need any practice! Observe a child. One of their first words is “mine!”

    In your lifetime you will meet people who cover the whole spectrum, from completely
self-absorbed to selfless. Your grandmother Sandy is the most selfless person I have ever known. I can‘t think of a single example where she has actually put herself or her needs before the needs of anyone else. If the flight was going down, she would make sure everyone had their air masks on before her. It just comes naturally to her. It is in large part attributed to her faith in Jesus Christ and the love which is a result.

    On the other hand, I am not so selfless. It does not come easy to me and if it weren’t for Jesus, I would be pretty self-absorbed.

    Perhaps it goes back to my childhood. There are a couple stories told about me. I don’t really member the events, but they have been shared at family events for a long time and may have attributed to my selfish actions.

    My sister Sarah is three years older than me. She is probably tied with Sandy in the selfless category. When I was a toddler, if there was a toy she wanted with which I was playing, rather than just take it from me, she would find another to exchange. It was a very effective way to divert my attention, to keep the peace, and she got the toy. It did, however, empower my selfishness and I discovered it was not the way of the playground. As I got older, if I didn’t get my way, I became very angry.

    Another story describing my nature was during one of our family’s rituals. After our mother was finished with her errands, she would take us to get at treat. We were given a choice; we could have a soft drink or an ice cream. Sarah was in complete compliance and would order one or the other. I was known for stating I wanted both. As the story goes, the server looked at me and exclaimed, “He’s so cute, I will bring him both!” I think I got used to having my soft drink and ice cream too!

    Maybe I should blame Sarah and our sweet server for enabling me. Selfish people like to Blame others. I can be pretty good at Blame. We will save that for another note!

    Hopefully, the person you come to know over the years will not be the person I am describing.

    Here are a few lessons I learned along the way.

    After throwing temper tantrums and learning I wouldn’t always get what I wanted, I began to figure it out. Selfish people are not usually nice. After a while, people can only tolerate their behavior for a short time.

    As I grew older, the people I could tell who were really happy were not selfish. They actually put others before themselves. As hard as it was, I wanted to be like them!

Trying to act selfless is very hard. It was very easy to default to my selfish nature. It wasn’t until I understood a part of knowing Jesus is we need to be transformed. It was always going to be an act, but through New Birth in Jesus Christ, my selfless nature actually could be transformed and a new nature be born. Jesus describes it as being Born Again!

Jesus said, John 3 NASB Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; 2 this man came to [a]Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these [b]signs that You do unless God is with him.” 3 Jesus responded and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born [c]again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

The apostle Paul wrote 2 Corinthians 5:17NASB17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new [a]creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
He describes the new nature of Jesus.

He also wrote Philippians 2 NASB Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any [a]affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete [b]by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing [c]from [d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude [e]in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be [f]grasped, 7 but [g]emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and [h]being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death [i]on a cross. 9 For this reason also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

    Jesus could have retained His place seated at the right hand of His Father God, but instead demonstrated the ultimate act of selflessness, by laying down His life for the sins of the world. It is certainly a hard act to follow

    Ultimately, I learned even when I tried to be selfless, I usually failed. As much I desired to get rid of my selfishness it always appeared.

What I needed is described by Paul in his letter to the church in Galatia. Galatians 2:20 NASB 20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and [a]the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

My whole life has been a process of dying to self in order for Jesus to live in me! It has been quite a journey and I pray you will pursue Jesus and this resurrection life.

Now to the question at hand. There is not one particular event I can point to as the most selfless thing. Being a good friend will require selflessness. Being married will require selflessness. I was not prepared, however, for how much selflessness would be demanded when you are a parent. Being a parent has placed the highest demand on my selfish nature. We all talk about unconditional love, but until I was a parent, I don’t think I ever felt the demand on life to be as great. I thought I loved my wife unconditionally, but there was usually something conditional.

    Being a parent requires the ultimate demand to love unconditionally, to be totally selfless.
By the time you are reading this, you will probably not be able to fully appreciate what I am writing. You are still on the receiving side of love. I do, however, hope these words will build in you a vision of who God wants you to become. Write these scriptures and put them in a place you can see on a daily basis. Start practicing now; get ready for the day when you will be on the giving end!

Gee Sprague, October 17, 2022